And so this Quest continues…and my life conspires to be sure maximum understanding results. A large and unexpected curve ball threw itself into the mix at lightning speed, whispering – “You think you can just ignore me? They don’t call me an addiction for nothing! Get a load of this!”
In an unexpected moment I was looking at everything I have come to believe and faced with a decision that felt paramount. Would I succumb to self-destructive luxuries? Would I choose something new?
Addictions do not go away on their own. A formidable force, they must be looked at head on and dealt with. Once identified, they can’t help but be noticed from then on, often peeking quietly over your shoulder.
They sneak in everywhere; you’ll have to be vigilant. It’s sort of like having ants. At first there is one. You see it and want to remove it. You may squish it or carry it out of your kitchen, but once spotted, there seems to be a non-stop parade of them. They will not be ignored. They will not go away on their own. Instead they will multiply and return at every opportunity.
The signature of an addiction is the emotion it elicits. Any uncontrollable repetitive response exists to pull you away from what is true. You will not naturally develop an addiction to unconditional self-love, but rather to some form of self-loathing. What you must do is absorb this self-hatred and move your mind in another direction – far enough so that there’s room for new thought. Do not hate your habits. Lovingly place them aside and ignore them. Then do something else. Something equally absorbing.
I work with children. Noah, who is 5 years old, recently became addicted to home-sickness. After 2 weeks of consoling him and trying every approach I could think of (with no change), today I sat him by himself and ignored him. He was not ridiculed or scolded or punished for crying – he was separated lovingly and given some blocks to play with. In less than 5 minutes he showed me this real neat thing he had built and asked to join the soccer game. He decided the crying habit was boring and lonely. He chose something new and left the room laughing with his friends, self-empowered.
No one can love you or empower you as completely as you can. I know it is not easy and it can feel lonely. Yet I am also quite certain that a decision made to love you enough – changes everything. Be generous with yourself. Life is short and there are so many cool things to do.
You don’t have to follow anyone’s rules or ideas about happiness. You have to love you. It all starts there. It all ends there. It sounds simplistic and simple but you have not been taught how to do this or told of its importance. You’ll just have to follow the happiness. That is where self-love dwells.
Your day may include a curve ball, homesickness or some ants and that’s okay. This is life. This is your life. It does not matter why you are addicted or even what you are addicted to.
It matters that you call it out. Then place it aside with all the love you can muster, get back up and choose again. Put yourself at the front of that choosing – create something that makes you smile. Love yourself.
You are amazing and you know just what to do. Like my friend Noah, when faced with a choice between joy and misery, you’ll choose love. You know what emotions support you. You understand what it takes to be happy and happy is where you are headed.
Love you, addictions and all. Do something that serves you. When you pick your head up and look away from emotional pain – you’ll look a whole lot better. It’s a choice you’ll be faced with again and again. That’s okay; you knew the drill before you got here. You have everything you need to succeed. We are all here, waiting and ready to stand right beside you.
Remember who you are. You are a facet of Source, a vibration of pure love and a god being human. It is upon you to embody the truth. Not just in this moment, in your every moment.
This takes empowerment. This needs self-awareness. This requires agape. This is the work of a god. This is your work. You are the god you’ve been waiting for. Welcome home.
Thank you for taking this journey with me. I love you. See you tomorrow.
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